continued from seventeen and pregnant…
We got settled into our hospital room and as my labor intensified I really thought I was going to die. I had no idea childbirth was this painful. My Dr had never told me anything about this type of pain. As tears rolled down my face I asked my boyfriend to help me, he could only hold my hand and stare wide eyed at me because he couldn’t take the pain away. I had to go through this, there was no other way. I can say it was all worth it.
Around 3:45 the morning of April 2,1994 I held my first child a healthy 7-pound baby boy. I closed my eyes in relief, I was so glad it was over and as I held my baby I felt something I had never felt before. An awe that we had created this perfect little human who was totally dependent on us for survival. It fueled a fire inside my heart that has never gone out. I feel it even now when I look at my five children. I feel it when I look my husband in the eyes, we are a team, we have created this family and family is the glue that holds forever!
We were just kids that long ago morning. Eighteen and nineteen years old, scared out of our minds. I can look back and say we did grow up, almost overnight in that sterile hospital room. When we walked out of that place a bond was born between us that has stood the test of time and many trials, but we refused to give up on each other!
There were no complications from the birth, our son was perfect and the next night we were sent home a family.
Yet we couldn’t be a family together, I went home to my parents’ home with our son and he went home to his family. There were no phones to call each other, there were no vehicles to drive. My parents agreed he could come visit on Wednesday nights and be with me on the weekends.
On the other days I was on my own, talk about going through something hard, it was hard for both of us. The trauma of childbirth left a mark on me, the first week I almost lost my voice, I could only whisper when I talked. I believe it was a combination of multiple different things.
That first month I had a lot to learn about babies, my mom helped me some, but I had to figure it out on my own for the most part. My life revolved around diaper changes and feeding schedules. I did learn I loved being a mom, but a sadness hung over me because I wanted to be with my boyfriend. I wanted him to be a part of this, our culture prevented us to be together as a family because we weren’t married. He asked me to marry him soon after and my parents began planning for the wedding.
Two months later we could finally be together as a family.