Fearless

What thoughts does this word invoke? A mighty warrior out slaying a dragon, no sweat involved, muscles rippling, hair perfectly blowing in the wind. The dragon swoops down to devour said warrior and with one slash of his sword, plooofff…. the dragon falls to his feet in a billow of smoke and soot, dead as a door knob. The warrior blows on his knuckles, leans against his sword while taking a selfie for all the world to see his fearless deed of the day.

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No giving up now!

“I think I have it all figured out”, I said as I madly dashed around trying to do everything at once. The house was a wreck and my children were right in the middle loving the messiness. I thought if I did more it would magically get better. I WAS WRONG!

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Self-love

  Love yourself? What are you talking about, that is odd or is it? Let’s dive into this headfirst and explore the depth of this rich truth. I know how rich it is because once I started on this journey of diving deeper into my mind, connecting with all the rawness that lay within and giving it the love and attention it was craving, I began to find peace within myself. Any time we have massive hurt and allow it to fester, all kinds of fear, bitterness, hate, self-doubt, self- loathing will claw at your insides.

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Memory Lane

 I sit here with a far away look on my face. My mind has wandered back in time and I don’t even notice the wind blowing outside my window. In the corner of my mind I found a memory, a memory filled with laughter and the smell of popcorn. With the voice of my dad reading one of his books to my sister and me.  We sit crossed legged on the floor as he unravels this story. He had a gift of telling stories with sound effects.

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Mirror..mirror

  Mirror, mirror on the wall {who’s the fairest of them all} This ain’t no fairy tale honey! Mirror, mirror on the wall who’s to blame when I fall……. well you see, {scowls in the mirror} there was this lady at Wal-Mart and she cut me off. Then there was a man jay walking and I had to slow down. My coffee I got from McDonald’s was luke warm, plus they didn’t have my favorite shampoo at CVS, they ran a sale and forgot to tell me… OK, you had your pity party with the hat, balloons and the whole nine yards, now get your panties out of a twist and look yourself straight in the eyes and own up to your bad attitude and bad day.

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Labels

  Disappointed, hurt, let down, wronged, not appreciated. All these words can happen to us at any given moment. Happy, joyful, glad, thankful, grateful, you have the power to choose these in the moment those first five things happen to your world. Is it easy to choose to be joyful, you might be asking yourself with a scowl, when someone says or does something mean?  Ummm not exactly a piece of cake, you train for this stuff, your training ground?

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Growing Pains

They were so little, and they took all my hours. I shuffled around and got my work done half the time. I tied shoes, wiped noses, kept them clean and safe the years came and went. They started school, one by one kindergarten, first, second and then third.

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Good mom, bad mom

The struggle in my head. I’m a good mom, I did everything right today. I’m a bad mom I yelled at my kids, I got impatient, I just wanted to pack my bags and leave. There isn’t a mom alive who doesn’t relate in some form or another to this internal battlefield.

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Painter of words

I woke up with anticipation of what the day held, it was a Friday, I was fifteen and rebelling against the Amish religion. Music was forbidding but I had my secret stash of tapes and a Walkman tucked into a hole in my mattress. Rolling over I grabbed my Walkman off the night stand. I had time to listen to a few songs, as the rock music beat into my eardrum, I found my happy place. I knew with my bedroom door securely locked there was little chance of getting caught.   I lay sprawled on the bed through a few songs lost in the music.

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Don’t be a desert dweller

When I woke up, I knew it had to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 am. I heard the whirring of the fridge. I never noticed that particular noise being this loud during the
day. I turned over trying to get comfortable, so I could fall back to sleep, but it evaded me, I tried chasing it down,but it was not wanting to be caught. I lay still for a while
and a silent tear rolled down my cheek.

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